• Oh, what I wouldn't give to travel back in time to find the very first kale farmer and kick him right in the nutbag!
    Posted 7h
  • We saw Tom Jones and women are still throwing their panties onstage. Bigger panties now. I thought one of them was a Sweater.
    Posted 25 Mar
  • In an almost unbelievable coincidence, Benedict Cumberbatch is what I call my pecker. And have for more than 30 years.
    Posted 24 Mar
  • The other day, someone called me a “showboat.” As opposed to all those “regular” boats just sitting around getting no attention.
    Posted 23 Mar
  • I was sober when I wrote the rest of them
    Posted 20 Mar
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