• A friend of mine rides his bike to the bar because you can't get drunk and walk your car home
    Posted 13h
  • When I get severe back pain, the only thing that works is one of those intense, deep-tissue sports hand jobs.
    Posted 19 Sep
  • There’s no such thing as new math. It’s the same old fucking math.
    Posted 18 Sep
  • Popping a second button on my shorts is a sign that I need to get off my ass and buy new shorts.
    Posted 17 Sep
  • My favorite color is scotch.
    Posted 16 Sep
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