A friend of mine rides his bike to the bar because you can't get drunk and walk your car home
When I get severe back pain, the only thing that works is one of those intense, deep-tissue sports hand jobs.
Posted 19 Sep
There’s no such thing as new math. It’s the same old fucking math.
Posted 18 Sep
Popping a second button on my shorts is a sign that I need to get off my ass and buy new shorts.
Posted 17 Sep
My favorite color is scotch.
Posted 16 Sep